"Why is your name changed on Facebook?"
"Why did you delete a universe of friends on social media?"
"Why did your relationship status change?"
Why should I answer?
Old Me would have felt obligated to explain.
New me just doesn't.
Here is the rub... Anyone who says that time passing doesn't signal little explosive bombs in your soul is either lying or secretly dead.
I have an extreme consciousness of time passage. I have expectations for growth and stimulation and hope and a beautiful swirl of color and unicorns and rainbows.
No, really. I do.
This may not make me a realist, but that is certainly not a title I have ever wished to wear.
At the end of each day, I believe we should let our head hit the pillow and ask one simple question-- Was I Happy Today?
Happiness is on its own daily scale. There's going to Disney happy. There's swimming with dolphins happy. There's getting the laundry folded happy. There's holding someone's hand happy.
There's no one died today happy.
There's I didn't kill someone today happy.
You get the idea.
When you start to avoid that pillow moment because you know that you will lie there, wide eyed and, often, teary eyed, because you know that not one of those ️happy descriptions fits your day, you owe it to yourself and to all those around you, to seek change. This change will be far from easy. It will sting. It will bend, and almost break you. You will be questioned and will question yourself.
All of this is ok. To be expected.
Seeking happiness is not illegal or immoral. There will be many who will make you feel otherwise.
This, I know. I have learned and felt and avoided and absorbed all of The People Who Have Opinions.
Go ahead, have opinions. Share them. Believe the things you hear or make them the things you want to hear. I am done listening.
I know this. I go to bed, lay my head on this pillow, and feel the calm, seeping satisfaction of simplicity and happiness.
In the end, it is all I have ever wanted.
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