"Set an intention that you are going to see only the best in everything and everyone."
My friend died today.
I am not saying he "passed", or he is "gone". I am not going to murmur that his "pain has ended" or tell of how he "fought a great battle".
He hasn't passed. He is with us. In the gentle smile of his son and the quiet humor of his daughter. He isn't gone. He is here- in the circle of the ring on his wife's finger and in the office where he worked so diligently.
His pain may have ended, but he embraced his pain. He rose above it. Yes, for a very long time. No, we cannot comprehend it.
He did, indeed, fight a great battle. He fought way longer and much harder than I can fathom. He fought to see his son graduate from high school; then for him to go off to college. He lived to watch his daughter grace the stage for her senior dance recital and to hear his son play the piano at Crane. He roasted hot dogs at his daughter's graduation party and smiled at our stories of friendship and family.
He lived life with intention. He sought reasons to live one more day. He reveled in the moments that he got to see, to experience, to enjoy with his wife and children.
My friend did not lead a boastful life. He did not need a spotlight or center stage. He was content to sit in the audience and watch others shine.
He was the Dance Dad who was brought to tears when his daughter competed her first solo at competition. He hugged me and sobbed as he said, "You did this. You did this for her; for us. Thank you." This was repeated often through the years, and culminated in a Senior recital that meant the need for an entire box of tissues.
These are moments that I cherish for their rarity and their raw and heartfelt purity. Robin wasn't just an amazing Dance Dad-- he was an amazing DAD.
My friend was a talented photographer- so apt at catching special moments and framing them as gifts. I will certainly always look at my gold-dressed-poised-and-posed dancers from a decade ago and think... "Robin captured this moment. Forever."
Forever- for as long as my mind can function and my body follows suite. Because, you see, that is My Goal.
What a world this would be if we all decided we would set goals... Set intentions-- and strive to achieve them. My friend did that for many, many years. He relished his journey and reveled in every family milestone. He lived his life in the shadow of his illness, but never let that shadow grow bigger than him.
Step out of your shadow today. Set an intention and write it down. Circle a date on the calendar and choose to LIVE your life in pursuit of a goal. My friend can't do that today, but you can. You can decide that the life you are given is truly worth living, with its bumps and bruises and its joys and agonies. It is yours to embrace and to fulfill. Stop waiting for a better time or a different circumstance and choose to live this day to its fullest. For my friend... for Robin.
